Day 18: Something You Crave a Lot

Right this very moment its a pretzel from Mr.Pretzel!!!! My workmate and I were talking about it today at work and every since then I’ve wanted one so badly!!!! the cinnamon and sugar one!!! emmmmmmm YUM YUM YUM!!!!

I’m Now Back and Up and Running!!!!

Wooooooooooo will finally be back posting again!! This doesn’t mean I don’t have a lot to do, I still have loads to do but I’ll manage for now!!

Work got really tiring for me, so much so that I started to lose it a little!! I’m normally on top of things but on one occasion a member of staff had called in and spoke to myself to say that she was ill. But then next day I had completely forgot about it and when others asked me if she called in or not I said no….. and thought she had gone AWOL!!!

I couldn’t believe my mistake!!! It was very unlike me!!! A lot of people couldn’t believe either, with one of the managers saying ‘its not like you, you’re usually on top of things’. Yes I was starting to lose it!!

Enough of that, I’m now feeling a whole lot better!!!

I was just chatting to my friend Ka Ho on facebook and he mentioned about starting some sort of ‘A Photo A Day’ for the year 2011. I thought that was quite a good idea!!! So I may try it LOL but I highly doubt you’ll get a photo a day from me!!

 

What Do Dreams Really Mean?

I’ve gone on about my lifeless love life on here before but in a rather cryptic way (I just don’t want to let the whole world know about my life just yet).

Before I go into the dream let me give a brief summary of what happened in real life between (who I am going to call) J. We’ve know each other for about 5-6yrs, to be honest we never kept in contact, we’ll have a great conversation if we saw each other and the odd text here and there but nothing constant… even for friends. But about a few years ago J contacted me and we kept in constant contact for about 8months, we got closer, flirted more but just never took that step across the line…. Why? Partly because of other factors that made us feel it would never work. Although we kept in contact, kept flirting and eventually started to drift apart but that feeling was still there (at least on my side). In a sense I spent like almost year unknowingly waiting…. But its over now. It was over when J told me he might start seriously seeing someone else (this was quite a few months).

So, last night I had a rather enjoyable dream…. It was enjoyable in the fact it was a pretty normal dream. Of course some of the surroundings were a little different but I know where it was when I thought back about the dream.
So the dream started off (well as far as I can remember) just outside my house, in my ‘area’ as I like to call it. There was some sort of gathering, quite a few of my friends were there, we’re just chatting and having fun….. I was there with J (J has nothing to do with the person associated, but I just happen to like ‘J’ at this very moment)…. we were a couple… We were officially together!! He had met my friends and how my dream reveals it, they get along!!
J and I were like a proper couple (you know what I mean when I say that right? We were physical)!! You can tell I’m a little shocked by it right? I liked the dream, us as a couple was how I thought it would be! But the me in the dream had thoughts of the relationship changing, his feelings were changing as the me in the dream thought of things like “are we only together because I pushed for it?”.

At one point in the dream I had to go into the house, when I came back out J was gone… I asked my friends where J was and they said he had gone home, he was making his way to the train station. I felt that something was wrong, he didn’t even say goodbye, didn’t even let me know he was going!! It couldn’t end like this I had to do something!! So I went after him. I ran to the train station!! I could see him on the packed platform, I had to get to him…. But the station was surprisingly packed, I was trying to get to the platform and there was a rush of people trying to leave!! The station was a little more complicated, there were a lot of stairs!!! I can see a train pulling up to the platform but I’m almost there, almost there, I shout out his name… I get to the platform but the train doors have closed…. Where is he? He’s not on the platform, but I can’t see where on the train he is! He’s not here… The train leaves and its just me on the platform, just me in the station, no one else. J‘s gone, and all I wanted to do was grab him, kiss him and say goodbye, knowing that it was the end.

So there my dream ended, I woke up.
The dream in some ways hinted out my regret in what had happened between J and myself. But it can’t be changed now, it will be one of the few regrets I have, something I will always think back and ask myself ‘what would it be like if…’. I wouldn’t say I’m uber depressed or anything, its just a thought.